You Might be Obsessed
About Paddling if …
From the canoeTx mailing list...contributors were Glenn Hart, Bill
Brooks, Neil Harrison and
Bill Herring. Posted to the rec.boats.paddle newsgroup by Neil Harrison
From the November, 1998 WrapAround
1. You can't cross a bridge without slowing down or stopping.
2. You take a trip to Niagara Falls and find yourself picking out
lines.
3. You've lost count of the number of boats you have in your garage and
backyard.
4. You sign up for a TV cable company only after checking out the
quality of their weather channel.
5. You get excited instead of worried when you hear about tornado
warnings and flash floods.
6. You've gone boating in conditions where you normally wouldn't go
outside.
7. You find yourself seeking out dams and any other places with moving
water.
8. You've been known to "dry scout" creeks, picking out lines
and eddies (the neighbors think you're nuts).
9. All career, personal, and financial decisions are judged by the
criteria "How will this increase my paddling time?"
10. Your friends call you a "gear head" and you don't
understand what they mean.
11. You've toyed with the idea of just leaving your boat and gear
loaded on your vehicle.
12. You see locals like the guys in "Deliverance", and they
seem normal to you.
13. If you do a rain dance without the cumbersome hindrance of clothing
in the moonlight to Creedance Clearwater Revival for mood music.
14. When the weather radio goes off at work, you start thinking of
reasons you "don't feel so well."
15. Your boat and gear costs more than your car.
16. When you hear about a guy in a skirt you think nothing of it.
17. The waterproof packaging your food comes in is more important than
the food itself.
18. When you go shopping, Gore-Tex stock goes up.
19. You can buy that new inflatable with your REI rebate check.
20. When the TV cameraman films the "crazies" kayaking the
flooded creeks and you know all their names (and you wish you were out
there with them.)
21. You refuse the local paddle club officer nomination because it
would cut into your paddle time too much.
22. You stop to rubberneck at highway river crossings.
23. You buy new clothes, not by how good they look, but by how fast
they'll dry.
24. You have to take out a second mortgage to build a new boat shed.
25. You have an old Grumman canoe on blocks in the front yard.
26. You haven't missed roll practice at the local YMCA in 3 years.
27. You divide your life into work days and river days.
28. The bars on your rooftop rack are wider than 8 feet.
29. You have the NRS and the NOC catalogs memorized.
30. You've ever wondered how many milk cartons you'd have to save to
make your own kayak.
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